Transmogrification Inc.

We here at Transmogrification Inc. offer directors and producers an unique opportunity to replace your worthless, foolish, foppish, and moronic actors frequently forced upon you in today's movie industry with a rich, full-featured, content-driven replacement that is sure to please even the most discriminating audience.

Many of the best studios are taking advantage of the technologies that Transmogrification Inc. is able to leverage to your motion picture with incredible results. Increased revenues, superior critics' ratings, enhanced audience approval scores, and the pride of turning a would-be flop into a blockbuster.

Listed below are just some of the examples of what Transmogrification Inc. has been able to bring to the motion picture industry to rescue otherwise doomed titles destroyed by the diseased placement of a poxy actor that infects the entire film.


Director, Brett Ratner, "We found the canine sidekick of Jackie Chan was more believable during most of the martial arts sequences, and after seeing him substituted in, we just decided to use him throughout the film."






Writer, David Berenbaum, "We had actually cast a dog for the role of the elf in the original script, it was unfortunate that our vision wasn't carried through to the actual filming. Luckily, Transmogrification Inc. was able to restore the original intent of the writers!"













Producer, Judd Apatow, "Carey was such an incredibly annoying abomination in the role, the only thing left to us to have any hope of producing a film that didn't educe vomiting in audiences was to get the help of Transmogrification Inc."









(clearly all quotes are complete fabrications, should anyone have questioned otherwise)