How did?

I've seen the topic of science versus religion or evolution versus creation discussed more times than I could shake a giraffe at.

So many people like to dichotomize this discussion between only two choices, when there are really so many postulated explanations that it probably would be impossible to list them all.

I've listed somewhat in order of popularity, some of the possible options proposed by other humans and have still left out a nearly countless number, almost all of which disagree with each other.

1) A great and omnipotent sky-god created everything we know in a few days, placed two people of opposite gender in a magical garden and warned them, "Whatever you do, don't be naughty!" (this works very well on teenage boys and girls placed together by themselves, naked, in a garden, try it).

2) A great and omnipotent sky-god created everything we know in a few days, but NOT YOUR sky-god number 1, and if you suggest they are the same I'll $#&^ing KILL YOu!!! At first, everything was like smoke, but that sucked, so he turned it all into what we have today and created a bunch of critters and other celestial objects to make things more interesting. Then he put the same naked coeds as sky-god from number 1, BUT DON'T SUGGEST THEY ARE THE SAME GOD OR I'LL KILL YOU! into the garden again and warned them, "Don't be naughty!"


3) A god of three aspects, the creator, the sustainer, and the destroyer has both created and is within all of his creations in the entire universe which was generated from a golden embryo or golden womb (presumably a giant one). Some also believe that this may have been accomplished through the sacrifice of the primaeval cosmic male. Perhaps it's a combination of both.




4) No observable beginning, continue examining hard evidence available, such as subatomic particles, light, galactic spin, etc, and try to form some reasonable conjectures about the perceived beginning. Life as we know it, has slowly evolved over many billions of years as demonstrated by observable and linkable fossil record where no system is irreducibly complex, including humans themselves.

5) An ultra-powerful dictator of a galactic conferederacy brought billions of his people to earth 75 million years ago in DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes, and killed them using hydrogen bombs. The essences of these spirits remain and drive humans to do everything they do today. We must purge ourselves of these vile alien spirits that drive us to do bizarre things! Oh...and psychologists need to all %&*#ing die.

6) In a universe full of chaos the earth as a female entity was given birth from the chaos, as were The Underworld, Desire, and Darkness. The female earth entity then brought forth an equal in the form of the sky to keep her company and cover her, as well as the seas. From the union of this great female and the sky creature sprung forth all the other things that have come into being.

(I love this left picture, I need to find out where it came from!)






7) A very tricky raven stole light and water from a rich man (where did he exist?) which was used to fuel the moon and stars and heavens and rivers. He then made the winds, the races, and dogs, who are humans cursed to walk on all fours.




Clearly, I have my own preferences on which explanation I'm most satisfied with, but to each's own.

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The blue car zoomed through the neighborhood, probably faster than it needed to and nearly knocked over the "Garage Sale" sign posted by the side of the road.

"Sweet mother of buttermilk!" exclaimed Jim, "Oompa Loompas must yet again be at work distributing those "Garage Sale" signs all over town!"

"Why would you think it was Oompa Loompas?" queried Jane.

"Well, have you ever seen anyone actually out there putting out a sign? They just mysteriously appear and disappear each day, only Oompa Loompas could accomplish such a feat" explained Jim.

"Hmmm...I don't think it was Oompa Loompas, I think it was one of the people in the neighborhood, we just didn't see it happen. I've seen people posting other signs before, just not "Garage Sale" ones." postulated Jane.

"Well, if you've never seen anyone actually putting one up, you cannot prove it WASN'T Oompa Loompas, and that sign certainly didn't just spring up out of the ground on it's own! Therefore, it must have been Oompa Loompas. Besides, lot's of other people believe it was the Oompa Loompas."

"Like who?" asked Jane.

"Like Peter! He read a book once that suggested that since time before time Oompa Loompas have been stalking the earth and putting up "Garage Sale" signs to trick humans into putting out quantities of junk for other humans to paw through. He also met a man who tells such stories once a week, in the mornings, in a special building where people gather JUST to listen to Oompa Loompa stories."

"Oh." said Jane.