I liked this

So much, that I'm linking it here, even though it isn't my work, just stolen off the internet.

The NATO Alphabet

I was thinking that someone surely must already have made a NATO Alphabet poster with correlated pictures, and I would just grab it from the internet and print it out for entertainment.

Strangely, I couldn't immediately find one on the internet, and thus thought to myself, this sounds like a good topic for another weird blog post!

So...here is my attempt at a NATO Alphabet poster. This was for the most part generated by simply typing in the word in question into google and choosing the most interesting or ironic image that came up.

If you want a somewhat sharper image, click the poster to expand it to full size.

The Genius of Günther

I feel that the genius of the swedish artist Günther isn't fully appreciated by many, and thusly I will propose for your consideration, the following Günther videos.
I want you to listen very closely to the lyrics contained therein for his secret wisdom and observe the environs in which he constantly finds himself.

The man must be doing something right (with the possible exception of the xmas special). The xmas special I really only post for Toki, and likely, if she weren't already unspeakably revolted by the content of my blog it would reduce her opinion of it.

Just as a first warning, it isn't always prudent to try to assimilate all of the wisdom of Günther in one sitting, it might be best to enjoy one of his videos, sit back, digest its deeper meaning, and then return later when you are ready to add a fresh pearl of wisdom to your necklace.

His most famous video, is probably this one, and it has spawned an entire generation of internet imitators and thieves:



While I wasn't sure the of the perfection of this next one at first, since the tagline is ola ola, rata rata ra, which simply didn't seem catchy enough to me, it clearly is a pearl of sacred wisdom after watching it:



Anyone who can get Samantha Fox to sing along with them has to be doing something right, the original is remastered here with Günther in what may be the apotheosis of his career, only time will tell.



This next one is pretty special, I think it really captures the modern xmas spirit and will be a particular favorite of Toki, if she hasn't already closed this browser window and deleted my blog from her list:



I like this one because it is about fruit, and fruit is good, it keeps you healthy and tastes nice.



Finally, this video is a masterpiece of synchronized, choreographic dancing accompanied by the usual deep and powerful lyrics that really bring meaning to our lives.



That's it for this Günther roundup, maybe I'll stylize myself as Günther for Halloween this year!

I feel as if I have somehow cheated people on this post, since I'm mostly just linking stuff that is already out there and available instead of creating something that is my own work, but I felt the need to share the incredible phenomenon that is Günther with everyone.

P.S. Covering your face with vaseline is excellent weather protection in addition to making you look startlingly attractive and Günther-like!

Quotes of the Bizarre

I don't want to precede these quotes with too much explanation, as it takes away from their power of bizarreness. All I will say is that none of them actually meant what they seem to mean when taken out of context like this. These all come from a coworker speaking without thinking of the double entendre present in his statements about our work.

♠ I'm going to stretch a bit, then we'll change genders.


♣ This stripper is really aggravating me.



♦ These females aren't working right, they aren't accommodating enough.


♥ I don't like fancy strippers, I prefer the old fashioned kind.

♀ We need to get these five females taken care of first.




♂ No, this isn't right, someone used a male here instead of a female.

☺ Thankfully, this is the last female, I need to get up and stretch.

☻ I've accidentally made it halfway through some females before.

۞ Do not slit nipples, use lubricant.


∩ Look at this thing and flip up the female, when you mate them up, they go like this.

► Should I make sure you have a female body before I go?

◄ If you look at a female, it would be the backside of a male right?



▼ You're about to lose your strippers!

♪ I brought these because they take the lube off.

▲ The way they did it was...they put a nipple through the wall.

┼ I'm going to walk over and get the females we need. I need two...

♫ I stripped down Susie yesterday.

People say the strangest things.











P.S. It can be hard to tell on the small pictures, but I did mosaic out nipples to protect the innocent! Honest. Although I of course had to look at them closely during this process.

Hello Kitty Online

I am completely unable to fathom why anyone would want to play this game.

Hello Kitty Online

However, I have been informed by a friend that it in fact has a broad appeal, even among older women.

The average MMO has a demographic that includes 50% males playing male characters, 35% males playing female characters, and 15% females playing female characters, and some insignificant percentage of females playing male characters (apparently it is a gross betrayal of their gender to play an in-game character of the opposite gender *shrug*).

Hello Kitty Online, however, stands at the ready to break this mold with a demographic apparently including 60% adolescent girls playing female characters, 35% older women playing adolescent female characters, and 5% male pedophiles playing adolescent female or male characters. I can't even imagine the horror of voice-chat in such a game, an armada of giggling teenage girls, giggle women pretending to be girls, and giggling pedophiles claiming their microphone doesn't work...

Incidentally, the friend I have who will be playing this game is neither a pedophile (that I know of, although she does look at photos of her husband when he was REALLY young *muses*), nor a adolescent girl.

All of this being said, I hope the fans of Hello Kitty Online who have been waiting impatiently for its release have a delightful time playing the game and that it measures up to all of their expectations.

I think I'll wait for Warhammer Online.

Hopefully she'll still speak to me after this post.

The Merry Marmot Festival

Someone I know is going to the Merry Marmot Festival (don't ask me what this is, I don't know), but it inspired me to put this on his cubicle until his return.

A friend of mine had never seen the Anabuki.co.jp commercial. Thusly, I'm including that here for those of you who have missed out on this treasure of japanese culture. This may or may not be related to the Merry Marmot festival, since I don't know what makes the marmots merry or how they behave at the festival, perhaps they have enlarged genitals and dance?

No Improvement Possible

I submit the following link without any additional frippery or mocking required. These products speak for themselves I think.

Lookin Good for Jesus

I need some Jesus Sparkle Cream.